Saturday, September 22, 2012

Beyond the Bandaid

I am concerned about my son.
No--that's not right.
Just say it.
I'm worried about him.

Never mind why.  The reason doesn't much matter because he's a grown man and I can't do much about it.
But that doesn't stop the love.  Or the worry.

In fact, his maturity increases the concern because my ability to influence his situation decreases with his increasing age.
Unlike when he scraped his knee falling off a bike or when little Jimmy took a poke at him on the playground, I can't kiss away his hurt.
I can't fix it.
And parents are fixers.

So what do I do?  God has some advice:
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Choose life, so that you and your children may live...Deuteronomy 30:19a

I want life and blessings for my children, but I can't get them by fixing their hurts and problems.  I do it by choosing God.

Can I bring my sons practical help?  Sure.  In fact, I should.
But that help is only a bandaid in the larger scheme of things.

My choosing God, however--walking with Him before my children and the world--gives God the opportunity He craves to do what only He can do.

How do I know this?  He told me:
Listen to His voice and hold fast to Him, for the Lord is your life.--Deuteronomy 30:19b

Choosing God first will probably alter the kind of bandaid I apply to my son's owie.
Choosing God first may open the wound farther so He can clean it out properly.
But choosing God brings real healing and everlasting life.
And that is what a mother ultimately wants for her sons.


  1. Amen! Sometimes it will cause more pain, but God will use that pain. May I too choose to follow after God in my own parenting. Thanks for this!

  2. I can so relate to this.....your words
    so full of life and beauty,
    feeding my spirit
    and giving me breath.
    great gobs of thanks,

  3. God has brought me back to praying Ephesians 1:17 -23 for myself and everyone on my prayer list lately... it says it all, and I pray it for your son tonight... - Pam, Apples of Gold

    1. Pam, I am always astounded by the grace that prompts nearly complete strangers to pray for my children. I know it is a response to obedience, but still, I can't thank you enough.

  4. There is no substitute for praying for our children and fasting when necessary. I believe this is all we can do when they are grown and making their own decisions. God has been faithful to answer prayers no matter how grown they are. You are obviously a parent who loves much. God will honor that.

  5. All I can rely upon for my kids and grandkids to turn [or REturn] their hearts to the Lord is The LORD. So much sinful garbage in so many of their lives, and I most certainly know and understand those situations, b/c I was just like that until the Lord broke through my walls and drew me to Him in '66. However, knowing what the world is like now.. as opposed to what it was like in the '60s when I was in huge trouble and I was outstandingly sinful THEN. However, most of what I was doing then, that upset most of the society, is put up with or accepted NOW. Scares the socks off me.

    All I can rely on is HIM.

    1. Yes, it does seem to have gotten scarier out there. Our parents thought the same, of course, and the Bible warns us that this will happen. We should not be surprised, I guess, but I look at my children and just have to pray for protection and mercy...

  6. Well said! So thankful that God goes "beyond the bandaid" to bring complete healing and restoration.

  7. Prayer is such a blessed gift. I love "Praying God's Will for my Daughter." I believe they have it for a son, too. God's gift of bandaid removal is perfect.

  8. It is a whole new ball game when they become adults. I too wrestle with the letting go and letting God when it comes to my adult children. What a blessing that we know He loves them more than we do and that we can be an active part of the process in their faith walk through prayer as well as example. May God use the better bandaid of prayer and a mother's love to work a miracle in our children who may wander from Him. I often think of Monica, St. Augustine's mother, and remember her example of devoted prayer for her son. Thanks for your faithfulness and for reminding me to pray always. God bless, Maria

    1. Good example. There are times when we need to do something, but the time always comes when there is nothing to do except pray. I am there, I think.

  9. Ahhh, yes. I want to run in. I want to fix it all.

    1. No kidding, Amy. Easy to do when they are little and their issues small. Not so easy later. Sigh. And oh yes, that is the groan that has no words...Amen.

  10. Trust, believe, have faith. It's as simple as that. Oh wait, did I say simple? Well, it should be, at least.
    Thanks for sharing.