Who's Dying When We Kill Time?

 

"One cannot kill time without injuring eternity." - Henry David Thoreau, Walden

This is where I get to air a pet peeve.

I get really edgy when someone tells me they are doing something because it "takes up the time" or because it "makes the time pass".

  Are you kidding me?

I am 74 years old and the one single resource I have in shortest supply is time. I weigh almost everything I do in terms of whether it is worth the time I'm allowing it. Should I read this book? Not if it doesn't do enough for me to be worth the slice of my dwindling life I have to allot it. Should I take this trip? Not if all it does is relieve a state of boredom that I shouldn't be subject to anyway. If I'm bored, it isn't because I'm not enough amused. It's because I'm not enough interested or curious.

Henry David was right. 

Life is the supreme gift. Just the privilege of being alive. Acknowledging this gift means that every moment must be lived, really felt and experienced and noted as it passes. Just being aware of our surroundings, as he was, is enough to fill us with wonder. The change of seasons. The chance to laugh with someone. To watch something grow. To smell fresh ground spices or fresh peaches hot coffee or wet paint. To feel our muscles move when we dig a hole or dance or embrace someone we love.  

Once, when I was talking to my daughter-in-law, Gina, trying to understand why she kept such a seemingly frantic schedule for herself and her family, she just shrugged and told me, "These days won't last forever and I don't want to miss a thing." In essence, she was telling me that she doesn't want just to witness her life pass. She wants to live it.

The specific intention to live makes amusement a thief.

Eternity is the tree of life that grows from the seed of a moment. Moments do not exist as separate entities but as contracted wholes, not strung one to another but discrete entireties. If we don't look out, we will run out of the time we're trying so hard to make pass. And then, it is not only time we run out of, but all of life and we will be left wondering where it's gone.

image: Illimilab