Sunday, May 22, 2011

Fruit of my Knees

This, then, is how we know we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything.--1 John 3:19-20

Part of the life I am called to before You insists upon humility and repentance. I must be constantly aware of my own sin and failure so that You can share Your life with me. But you are calling me to humility, not defeat. There is a big difference.

Humility brings me to my knees, confessing and understanding again how I sin, and why, and how to find enough courage and honesty to admit it fully. The repentance that must follow comes as a not only required, but natural, outflow of my acknowledgement of sin and love for You. I have done an evil thing before You, but You want so much to see me restored, that You climbed up on the cross and died. Now, having done that, You stretch out constant arms to welcome me home. That's the difference. Humility and repentance come to fruit in the lonely dark, but their world turns ever toward dawn.

Not so with condemnation. When the recognition of sin is followed by "I'm irrevocably stupid," or "I'll never get this right," or "You have forgotten me," or "I give up," then something else is at work. In the times that dark follows dark and the hammer comes down so hard that I think that I not only will die, but should, then I have forgotten You. You have promised a way out, always. You give me or allow in my life exactly what I need to achieve godliness, either for myself or for someone else, always.

I do not need to worry about this. I do need, however to monitor my repenting thoughts. I must condemn my sin and the author of it, whether it be the enemy of my soul, or my own flesh. A sweet little one told me once about one of his favorite movies and how, in it, the character exclaimed that God is "bigger than the boogie man." Whether our boogie man is another man who tempts us to evil, or spiritual devilry, or our own desire, You are always bigger.

You do not condemn those who love You. You save them. The fruit of our knees comes as a saving light right from You.

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